Of Gremlins and Angels and Love affairs with Life

I am a Gremlin. I read the definition in some book about a similar topic. The author said that there are 2 kinds of people - Angels and Gremlins. Angels are the ones around which systems start working well. People will more reassured. Solutions are found. Computers start working well. I know of one such person. And there are the Gremlins. Around them things start going berserk. Questions are raised. They are the lords of destruction, there own and of others. Better constructions can be made once the breakage stops but one has to make sure that one can handle the breaking. I am a Gremlin.

I should have figured this out much before. Whenever I set my heart to something, it just never happened. I thought it was a Shani thing. But I think the matter lies lesser in the stars and more deeper inside my own behavior. Everything that has been effortless to me has reaped me benefit. Disproportionate benefits. I should have realized it much sooner. Everything I worried about has led me to further woes. It can be traced from long ago. When I worried about my height, it never grew. Till the time I had no clue about it I was one of the tallest fellas in class. Then I started worrying about my hair, everyone knows the what happened in that case. It even figures in my love life. When I cared less, they surrounded me and adored me. When I cared for them and worried for them, I lost them all. I am truly a Gremlin. And all that I let go of and all that I did not wait for came to me swiftly and without any ask. My Engineering degree, my management degrees, my job and my teachers. They all came and I never had to ask or raise a finger. I got the best job in my batch as a fresher because of my internship where I faked my results and spent time with my cousin playing computer games. My best test scores have come from the ones which I did not prepare for or the ones which I did not care enough for. Life loves me too much, I just don't know how to love her back.

It is just like a girl, life is. She plays and acts coy and cares and hurts, all without warning. But there are ways to get to her as well. As is with them all - small gestures matter. Small things which taken care of can give back big returns. But one must not rely on them alone. They stop mattering if they are all that one does. Sometimes those big ones are just as necessary. Surprise life with that sudden burst of effort. The sudden spark of brilliance and she will reward you for it. You have to receive from her as well. You have to enjoy the little things that she lets your way. Value them or you won't notice when the big hug comes your way. It is just as insulting to her when you ignore that big chance that she passes your way. Embrace them all and you have a nice little giggly girl, wanting to love you some more.