I am Cynical?

I was reading a blog, one randomly picked out from the millions out there, and I loved the way she wrote. Every word was a lyric in itself, it had music to it. Words that showed emotion, kisses dissolved in tea cups and memories stored in boxes with lace ribbons to keep them safe. After a few posts they did become sickly sweet but she did write about things besides love and emotion. It was wonderful the way she spoke of memories and feelings. It was like falling in love. In midst of my marvel my friend calls and I answer, half intoxicated with the lines I had just been reading. He speaks of the business we were discussing a little while ago and I cut him in between to tell him of the remarkable blog that I had just come across. I tell him of the wonderful way people write and oh how much I would love to write like them. "But you can't", he says, "you are way cynical". Time stops. I had thought of myself as many things but cynical was not one of them. "What do you mean?", I ask him. He answers, "You keep speaking of reality. People don't like that. People love to dream. Keep reality in check. Of course they know of it but it is so depressing. Tell them dreams and they will love it". I agree with him just to end the conversation. Stronger thoughts and questions had come up inside of me. The telephone call ends and I sit back to think some more; to prepare my thoughts and write this post. I think to myself, "He is not right, I am not cynical". All I do is see things as they are or try to do so. It is he who believes that things, as they are, are depressing. I see them, true. But I do not judge them. Why cannot reality be beautiful? Why is it so depressing to see it in its true form? Perhaps we make some mistakes and expect more from less and disappoint ourselves but that is no fault of matter or of reality. I merely choose to embrace the truth. I cannot say that I do because it is not an easily done deal, but yes I choose to.

I begin this post like I usually begin all my posts - without preparation. I find that it is the only way to write from the heart and not sound like a matter prepared over hours of deliberation with depth of precision. Perhaps there will come a time when I shall be able to write and emote at the same time, with preparedness. But now is not it. I shall write in both ways, I decide. And at some point those two will come together and help me write my masterpiece. Till then I remain...far far away from cynicism.