My wish came true.....Damn!!!!

I haven't written for quite some time and it has been because someone whose opinion I value highly said that I was not writing anything of any value here. So I decided that I will put something in only when I have something that matters. But this post is really out of necessity because I need to send this shout out to the world.

My wish came true.....and I am so screwed because of that.

One crazy day I told myself that I wanted to fall in love. I told myself that it did not matter if there was no way it could come to anything or that I would end up heart broken. I just wanted to feel like it again. Coz I had shut myself up from that emotion for so long.

And then it happened.

It just happened. I am not even sure if it is really the real deal but there is something there and I don't know what it is. I am liking the way I am feeling though. There are butterflies in my stomach and I laugh at myself and at her. She is one weird little girl. And I have nothing common with her. But there is the hope of something. Maybe it truly is nothing that I have. Maybe we aren't really right for each other but there is the hope and really sometimes that alone is good enough.

So what do I feel for her. Honestly, I don't know. But I like the feeling of having a new friend. I know it makes no sense to expect anything from it but why not give in to those stupid feelings inside? Why not let go of reason for a while?

Tell you something? I already feel it going away from me. Even though I know the next time I speak to her I will feel the same way again. If nothing at all maybe it means that there is still hope for me. That I can still feel for someone again. That I can still fall in love. Maybe it is the universe's way of telling me that things are not as fixed as I kept thinking they were.

There is still hope. And there is still me. Lets see what happens....!!!

I really am crazy!!

Later