The kids that fight with their parents on opinions and actions are the ones that the parents trust more than the ones who are obedient. Take this case:
Ram and Shyam - 2 brothers, not necessarily the same age. They have the same set of parents but they both react to them differently and similarly get different treatment. So there is Ram - Always the good son. Always does as he is told and follows all rules and regulations. He gets the best marks and never struggles with studies. He always seeks permission and never does anything wrong. When he does something that is against his parents wishes or he feels that it might be against his parents wishes, he is immeasurably full of contrition and is compelled to tell and apologizes to his parents. All who know him wish that their kid was more like Ram. His parents are awfully proud if him. He is their darling.
Case 2: Shyam. He is the rebel. He always fights over opinions and issues. He wants to know why before he goes ahead and obeys an order. He asks for reasons and fights over explanations. He gets into fights at school and struggles with his grades. He is not regular with anything and seems to have a mind of his own. Constantly going against his parents wishes and having his own way. All this comes with mixed results. Sometimes he makes it, sometimes he doesn't. He goes and does stuff that his parents would go bonkers about - drinking, hanging out with new people and what not. All in all a kid who becomes an example for other parents when they are scolding their kid, terrorizing them that they will turn into Shyam if they do not mend their ways.
Both these kids grow up. What happens then? Which of the 2 will the parents trust more?
The question is not whom will they love more. That would have been easy. The question is whom will they trust more. Who will they be less worried about when they are not around them? and who will they have more faith in when the 2 go into the world of their own?
My answer is - Shyam.
Why? I will tell you why.
The next time Shyam comes home drunk or the parents find out that there is a party that they are going to where there will be drinks - They will leave Shyam to his devices and get all on Ram. He afterall is the good kid - the one who does not know the ropes. He will get hurt. He will make a mistake. Shyam has been around the block a few times. He can handle himself. The mother will find herself telling Shyam to take care of Ram, irrespective of who is elder to whom.
They decide to make an unconventional career decision - Who will they trust more? Ram? The one who has forever lived in the shadow of his parents? forever holding their hands. Will they trust him to go on his own and make his own decisions? Or will they trust Shyam? The rebel who has always done things on his own and well he is still standing and has not gotten himself killed. The father will find himself having more faith in Shyam.
The reason is simple. Shyam is the self made man. The one who made the mistakes, learnt from them, made some more and is still standing after all this. Ram has never made a decision on his own. He might have no need of his parents hand holding any more but they will never believe it. He will always remain the good son but Shyam will be the one on whom they will depend.
Don't think so? Sit and think it over. You will see what I am saying.
Later
No comments:
Post a Comment