Life is on as usual in my world. Some things are looking up but I know that they are so because of a small white lie of mine. I don’t know how I am going to break open the secret but that will come later.
First things first….I got my first paycheck. It was no exhilarating feeling. Just as it was when I got my job. All because I know that it was coming for sure and that I did not have to work my ass off for it. There was never any suspense if it was coming or not. Not that I don’t work my ass off everyday in sun. I do. But I know that I can do much more and no matter how tired or worn out I am when I come back home… I can push myself much more. So it is here and I can finally pay my own bills, payback dad the loan he gave me when I had to come to Kolkata and I can buy some stuff to gift to my near and dear ones from my own pocket. Really from my own pocket.
On to the next few things…..My friend’s girlfriend. Well I said something previously about my friend that I made in Kolkata. He was the first person I had real contact with. Even before I came in full contact with my relatives here. So he is special. My first friend in the land of my ancestors, where I knew no one. But then comes the hitch. He has a overbearing girlfriend who it seems is in complete control of his life. So much so that he can’t even concentrate on chess, he plays chess to get things off his mind. He has been in rather poor shape for some time due to the trouble she was giving him. He says that she is a darling even if sometimes she is a little immature. Well they all say that about their girls, that they have a heart of gold even though the other parts might be built like a torture machine. Well, Miss heart of gold had her birthday on Sunday and he missed it. He fell asleep after a few beers and she is mad. When I say mad it means that she is driving the guy bonkers. I have heard that you have to grovel in love, even believed it but I had never seen it. Today that was struck out of the list. I have never seen a man fall on his knees like that when talking on the phone and I have never come that close to a girl who would stand her man be made so small even by herself. It was pitifull. But then as his other friends who I met today said “All is fair in love and war”. I wish I find someone who I can live life with. I don’t want someone who I will constantly have to save from different issues, like missed birthdays and petty problems that grownups don’t really give that much of a damn. But something tells me that it might not happen. I suppose they all and we all need someone with whom we can become little children. What am I saying….I have been looking for someone like that all my life. Someone with whom I can be a little kid. But something tells me that I would not make her feel the way that she was making him feel. I think that in the past I might have made people suffer simply thru the means that they love me. Like I would sulk and I knew that they will feel bad because they love me or care for me. But that was when I was a little kid, when I was all but selfish and that is a very very long time back. Not now. But there might be people who disagree with that. All I can say to them is that I was an idiotic nut and please if they can forgive me. I did not realize what I was doing or perhaps the magnitude of the effect it was having on the people I love.
So….my friend decides to buy her a pet rabbit. It turns out that she had a rabbit and she loved it like anything. She cried for 2 days when it died. So off we go…he the brave knight and us his 3 musketeers. It was stupid really…he said that the market was mukherjee market when it was bannerjee market and we were roaming the length and breadth of Kolkata looking for rabbits. It felt as funny as it sounds. When we were finally there we found out that the rabbits were in short supply today. We loitered around waited for sometime and then finally bought one small little one. It was the cutest of the lot but seemed to have a slight issue with the leg and was looking a little lazy, or ill…we could not tell. But it was the cutest of the bunch and we took it. Here is when the interesting thing started happening. Every one in the street who saw it asked us how much we bought it for and commented that we were ripped off and that the rabbit looked ill. So much so that my friend started to buy the fact and would ask every other person who seemed interested in the rabbit, if it was ok. It became so irritating that I asked him to shut up and leave it at that. I was rude in a friendly way that would not hurt his feelings but I was feeling a little pissed. You bought it now….what is the point doubting it so much. There is nothing to do now but take it home and present it to his dominatrix. All through the trip there was talk of what if’s and what nots to do with the rabbit if things did not go as well. All along I and the rabbit were the only two who seemed least interested in the cost benefit analysis. But he seemed a bit too calm and that worried me. So we travelled from bus to bus and then from auto to auto till we came back to urbane environment. We could not take it to some posh restaurant as they would not allow it. We took it to our regular eat place. And then when we were about to eat… magic happened. Some people came out of the restaurant and started appreciating the rabbit. We were worried that he might be thirsty and got it a cup of water. And then it happened…..it sprang to life. It was down and out all this time from tire. We gave it some food and all life seemed to be bursting out of him. The mood was infectious and we had a hearty meal. We were all happy and I am sure the girlfriend would be happy too.
I don’t know if I am making a monkey out of nothing…but maybe life and the decisions we make in it are like this rabbit in the cage. We listen to people and feel affected….we doubt and we repent…..where all it would need is some nourishment and it would come out in all its glory. A little appreciation is all that it needs to get started…..
Later
tata
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