Life can come at you in very strange ways. We as a team are under extreme pressure. And I guess this fella is the first victim. Is he the sufferer the victim or is he first to be free from the hell we have all been through the past few weeks. There are a number of problems that we are facing and definitely it is mostly our fault. But it is not all our fault and it would have been nice if someone acknowledged it once in a while. This fellow I am going to fire will be the first real victim.
He has been through some tough times recently and that too in a very bad time professionally for him. It all snowballed into what he is in now. I have never fired a person before. I have never said those words. I don't know how I am going to tell him and how I am going to refuse when he asks for more time. Strange similarity to death. As if I know the impending doom that is coming for him and I feel guilty for not letting him know, that I know.
My friend who is getting engaged is a dear old friend of mine. Even though we have been out of touch for perhaps 7 years. We had some very good times. At some point we were pretty close and I as a habit love to cherish moments I have spent with people even if later on the relationship might have gone sour. It is not so in this case, we simply grew apart. I wonder if she even remembers me. I wonder if she remembers we were such good friends. I wonder what I am going to tell the poor fella tomorrow when I go to see him.
My life was supposed to change for the better from today on. From Monday on. Today is Tuesday. It has to do with a little superstitious thing that I did, something I like to believe in. Will it all fall apart before it all gets better. Is the world going to crash so that it can grow back in the way that I truly want it. I don't know. I can only wait and yes keep trying....
I will keep trying...
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