Clarity of things

My friend says that she will get married soon. I am sad because she refuses to become what is her possibility.

Who am I to decide who she wants to be. I have yet to decide what I want to be....what I can be....what I should be...!! I don't even know what these mean or how they differ. There is a small sadness in me when this happens to the people next to me. Another friend sank low enough to give in pressures of the expectations of people. Am I pained at their loss or am I pained at the reflection of my own inability that I see in them.

Perhaps it is my inability and my desperation that I project on to these people and that they are in themselves happy as they are. Or perhaps...I see and they don't....!!
In either case control eludes me.